a mother's worry

brought little Ariel down to see the paed at Mt. Alvernia (we decided switch her paed cuz Mt. A is much nearer) yesterday. she was vomitting a lot and the vomit actually "shoots" out from her mouth instead of flowing out. somemore she had been crying and yelling whenever I tried to nursed her. I'm so worried that she's not thriving and my milk supply was dropping.

the paed assured me that she's gaining good weight. she weighed 4kg as at yesterday. she said that Ariel has a lot of wind in her tummy, thus causing her to vomit a lot and probably causing her to be uncomfortable when I nurse her. she prescribed some wind drops for her.

I like to see her taking the wind drops. she'll give a "yucks" face when I gave her. after that she'll farts a lot, even when feeding. :P

Back Home

finally we're HOME!!

well, kind of miss home, though staying in in-laws' place can get to rest more. however, at home, I can set little Ariel's schedule more easily. though, she don't have a clear routine now. she keep changing her pattern. for example, she can stay awake to play in the morning one day, the next day at around the same time, she will want to sleep. sometimes (actually more of most of the time), she will get very cranky.

recently she could not latch on easily. she'll be crying as if drinking milk is a torture to her. I wonder if the neighbours will think that I'm abusing my girl. hoho. I called the LC from Gleneagles to ask her. she keep saying it's growth spurts. (that was what she said when I called her 2 weeks ago for another problem). so today I gave Mrs Wong from TMC, my antenatal trainer, a call. she gave a more constructive solution to the problem. will try it out and if it is not working, will have to go to her on friday.

by the way, whoever in charge for this estate decided to have lift on every floor. so everyday got to bear with the drilling and knocking. arghhhh....

Ariel's arrival

Ariel finally arrived. actually she arrived on 19 April 2007, 13:34. 2 weeks before her expected due date. I shall keep my birth story short . (actually I kind of forgotten what really happened. oops. the timings are just estimations.)

3:30 am - woke up to clear my bladder. went back to bed and felt that my panty was quite wet. I thought my waterbag broke. went back to toilet check and realise that it was a show. quickly woke hubby up. we were quite lost on what to do cuz I did not felt any contractions yet. decided to wait and see.

4:00 am - started to feel contractions. still doubting was it real or just braxton hicks. tried to time the contractions, but don't know if I was timing them correctly.

5:00 am - contractions getting more intense. called gynae on what to do. he told us to go hospital immediately. got changed and ate some toast.

5:30 am - left the house. trying to endure the pain from the contractions while on the way there.
6:00 am - reached hospital. admitted to delivery suite. the mid-wives did the checking and found that I was only 1 cm dilated. hubby decided to go back to work since there were nothing much for him to do.

7:30 am - Dr See Tho came to check on me and told me that I would most probably deliver in the evening. administered epidural, and put on drip. doze off every now and then.

11:00 am - one of the mid-wives came in to check and found that I'm ALMOST fully dilated and asked me if I want to call my hubby back. she informed Dr See Tho as well.

11:30 am - felt the urge to push. tried to hold back as hubby was not back yet.

1:00 pm - another mid-wife came. started pushing. (hubby already with me.)

1:34 pm - little Ariel was born!!

I could feel her coming out. it was like having constipation for days and finally the sh*t came out. (oops, this analogy don't seem to be appropriate, but that was how I felt)

the mid-wife placed her on my chest. I did not have the crying feeling. looking at her, I was thinking to myself, 'so this is the little being that was in my womb for the past 9 nine months. and this is how she looks like. this is my daughter.' when they placed her back to the warmer, I realised she was not as dark-skinned as her daddy. :P

stayed in the hospital for 3 days 2 night. relatives, friends and colleagues came to send their well-wishes. some even came on both days.

doing my confinement now. initially was at my place. it proved to be too overwhelming in the first week. broke down countless times. feeling sorry for myself and little Ariel. she was crying and crying, and I cried with her. I did not know what she want. moreover, my episotomy wound was making me difficult to move around. the engorged leaking breasts were making sick. (I was even down with a fever of 38.5 degree.) everyday I just looked forward to darling hubby to be back from work. then I felt happier. I had never felt so lost, helpless and useless in my life before. I even dreaded the slightest sound little Ariel made. her every "aye"s made my heart skipped a beat. thinking to myself, 'right, what does she wants from me this time?' I just kept on praying and praying to God for help and guidance. at some point of time, I was losing faith, asking God where is He? actually He is working in His own ways.

one day, while I was crying, my parents-in-law came. I did not have time to dry my tears and and re-compose myself. so they saw my red eyes. in the end, darling hubby and them suggested that I do my confinement at their place. at least there are people around other than the confinement lady. (the confinement lady is another headache.)

I kept sending sms-es to Auntie Sabina, Auntie Angie and Auntie Daphne, asking them for tips. THANK YOU girls so much. I really really appreciate you replying the sms-es. THANK YOU son too, for listening to my woes and reminding me that this is just a passing phase. it will be over and everything is worth it for little Ariel. browsing through the Singapore Motherhood forum helped too. past few weeks I did not have a chance to browse the forum till yesterday. I realised I'm not the only one facing the problems. other April mummies (and other new mummies) have their own set of problems too. reading their encouragement for each other made me feel more confident now. hopefully I will not fall into another bout of depression again after the confinement. (I'll be looking after Ariel by myself after that.) luckily Auntie Angie, Auntie Kris and son promised that they will drop by to visit during lunch. :D

THANK YOU darling hubby for enduring all my nonsense and frustrations too!!